It has been a while since I posted and that discourages me. I feel like the past several weeks have been difficult. Most of my previous postings have come from inspiration that God laid on my heart and I was able to just write. It just isn’t happening. I ask myself why and the answer hurts. God hasn’t changed or moved, I just haven’t been taking the time to listen like I desire too. I had written “like I should” and I erased it, because I don’t want my time with God to be a “should” I want it to be “my desire.”
Can I blame it on the holiday season? Maybe I could use that excuse, but it really wouldn’t be the truth. I have felt God close to me and I know that my level of intimacy with Him has grown incredibly this year, but I know I have consciously not made my time with Him a priority in the past month. Why have I consciously not made time for God? I have to admit “fear”! When I regularly have these intimate times with God and I listen and hear Him speak to me, I have incredible joy and peace and I have inspirations, crazy thoughts and dreams!! I am filled with such a zeal for life and my love for God. So why am I choosing to miss these moments? Because I know that with God all of these inspirations, crazy thoughts and dreams are possible and I’m afraid of my humanness and not embracing God’s holiness!! My life coach addressed the subject of fear at our last meeting and my homework is to identify my core fears!! I haven’t done it yet. It is on my to do list!! Wow, as I am writing this, I hear God speaking to me now, He knows my fears, He knows that my heart desires to follow and embrace Him and His plans for me!! He wants me to just let go of all the things that are holding me back. I want to cast off all of those fears and what ifs that are swirling around in my head and just believe!!!
God, thank you for talking to me through my fingers as I type, I started this not as a time to meet you but to express my feelings and YOU met me here!! God, my desire is to meet you in those intimate moments and to embrace those crazy thoughts and dreams and to run with you!!!
I claim these verses:
2 Timothy 1:7 – For God has not given us a spirit of fear.
Luke 12:32 So don’t be afraid, little flock. For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom.
Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s Masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
