Weight and Wait are two words in my vocabulary I could do without. They both have such a stronghold on me. Each word holds such depth in my life. I will start with weight. I have been over weight all my life. In kindergarten, I was called “fat” to my face by a classmate. That marked the course for my low self image and set my feet on a path of discouragement in this area. Why have I had weight issues all my life? Partially I can blame bad eating habits and wrong food choices. But mainly I have a weight problem because I have a wait problem. This concept is new to me and in writing this out I am trying to flush out some of the core junk in my heart. God brought this to my mind several weeks ago and it has just been circling and I need to give it clarity.
In the book study that I am involved with currently, Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl by Lysa Terkeurst, she addresses how as women we tend to be consumed with labels, rules of religion and measuring up. These 3 elements are strong pillars in my life. I was labeled in kindergarten as “fat”, I grew up in a conservative Mennonite home where “laws” were so important and therein lays my conflict with weight and wait. I believed the feeling of not measuring up, not being good enough, striving to be the good Christian girl; I just couldn’t reach the bar that was set. So I started waiting or desiring for better things. They had to be out there. I was waiting for a boy friend, waiting for the chance that maybe I would be good enough to play sports, waiting for approval of my peers, waiting to be in the cool crowd and even after getting married I waited for my husband to accept me for who I was. And as I waited for these things, my weight continued to increase because I ate to feel the “wait void.”
Over the years I have yo-yo dieted, lost 30 gained it back, lost 40 gained it back and then had 3 children and gained and gained weight. I remember sitting in my whirlpool tub about 5 years ago and God told me that I didn’t have to wait until I was at the ideal weight before I could serve Him and accept and love myself. This started my journey to where I am today. I started believing I was worth something and it had nothing to do with measuring up to the belief that the world says I need to weigh 136 pounds. It has been a long journey and now I feel again like I am in the wait. In 2008 I successfully lost 40 pounds, because I believed in myself and had the confidence that I could succeed. It was done in waiting. It wasn’t one of these fast off diets that usually plunge you further into the weight issue later. It was a slow time of waiting for the pounds to come off. I am still not close to the 136 pounds of the world standards and I believe I need to continue to work on my weight so that I can be totally used by Him. Maybe that sounds confusing, but as I am talking about weight and wait, I am believing that I need to submit my weight and my idol of eating to my Master so that I am totally submitted to HIS plan and not my plans or the world’s ideals.
God gave me a dream for a ministry in January of this year and my writing is one of the ways that I am starting to fulfill this dream. My heart is filled full of passion, desire and excitement for what I know God can do in me, but I am “waiting” for HIS perfect timing and it is hard. I don’t wait well!! Lysa Terkeurst in another one of these chapters spoke to me with her words for the story of David. After David was anointed to be King, he wasn’t taken directly to the king’s court for training and immediately shown all the plans that God had in store, no he was sent back out to the fields to continue his sheparding roles. I was humbled because just the day before I was muttering to myself that all my mundane chores of laundry, errands, grocery shopping, cooking just didn’t seem important in the realm of my dream and vision. But as Lysa expounded on, David continued to build up the characteristics he would need as king while he was working in the fields. I too need to continue to build up my character as I am in this time of waiting.
I want to challenge myself to work on my weight as I WAIT for when God will reveal His awesome plans for my life in the timing that HE has orchestrated for me. As I will serve HIM while I am waiting.
Lamentations 3:25 – The LORD is good to those who depend on him,
to those who search for him. Waiting for God’s timing brings great rewards.
Romans 8:25 But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
The Honor of being Dishonored
Acts 5:40-42(the Message) That convinced them. They called the apostles back in. After giving them a thorough whipping, they warned them not to speak in Jesus' name and sent them off. The apostles went out of the High Council overjoyed because they had been given the honor of being dishonored on account of the Name. Every day they were in the Temple and homes, teaching and preaching Christ Jesus, not letting up for a minute.
As I was reading Acts 5:29-42 the other day, I was struck with the words in verse 41 - “overjoyed because they had been given the honor of being dishonored on account of the Name.” Have I ever felt dishonored? What does dishonor mean to me? Definition of dishonor in Merriam Webster dictionary is the lack or loss of honor or reputation; the state of one who has lost honor or prestige: shame; a cause of disgrace.
I know that my name has been dishonored in the past by people’s words, but has it really caused me disgrace? As a perfectionist and a person who doesn’t take risks, I have shielded myself from many situations where I could have stepped forward and put myself in harms way, but instead did not take a bold stand to open myself up for dishonor. Then the really hard question hit me, I have protected my name as much as possible, have I ever been dishonored because of Christ? After pondering this, I am truly heartbroken. My stand for Christ has not been a strong and bold one. I have many times failed to speak His name in situations where my reputation could have been in jeopardy. Oh how that hurts to say. In this story, the apostles had been jailed, whipped, threatened and they were OVERJOYED because they were dishonored for Jesus. The situations I have encountered in the past would not have caused me to be jailed, whipped or threatened; only my reputation was at stake. Where is my courage? Where is my belief in my heavenly Father?
Have you allowed yourself to be dishonored because of His Name? If your heart aches like mine at the answer, I ask you to join me as I cry out, Lord, change me, make me bold for you, give me the heart of your apostles so that I am willing and overjoyed to be dishonored for your Name!!
As I was reading Acts 5:29-42 the other day, I was struck with the words in verse 41 - “overjoyed because they had been given the honor of being dishonored on account of the Name.” Have I ever felt dishonored? What does dishonor mean to me? Definition of dishonor in Merriam Webster dictionary is the lack or loss of honor or reputation; the state of one who has lost honor or prestige: shame; a cause of disgrace.
I know that my name has been dishonored in the past by people’s words, but has it really caused me disgrace? As a perfectionist and a person who doesn’t take risks, I have shielded myself from many situations where I could have stepped forward and put myself in harms way, but instead did not take a bold stand to open myself up for dishonor. Then the really hard question hit me, I have protected my name as much as possible, have I ever been dishonored because of Christ? After pondering this, I am truly heartbroken. My stand for Christ has not been a strong and bold one. I have many times failed to speak His name in situations where my reputation could have been in jeopardy. Oh how that hurts to say. In this story, the apostles had been jailed, whipped, threatened and they were OVERJOYED because they were dishonored for Jesus. The situations I have encountered in the past would not have caused me to be jailed, whipped or threatened; only my reputation was at stake. Where is my courage? Where is my belief in my heavenly Father?
Have you allowed yourself to be dishonored because of His Name? If your heart aches like mine at the answer, I ask you to join me as I cry out, Lord, change me, make me bold for you, give me the heart of your apostles so that I am willing and overjoyed to be dishonored for your Name!!
Friday, November 6, 2009
Best Read of 2010
If you are looking for a powerful book to read in 2010, keep reading on!! I have several copies of this book on my shelves and I carry it around with me to a lot of places with the intention of reading it. In the past, I would get a few chapters read, but then it would sit there for a few months before I picked it up again. But in 2009, that all changed. I received a new version of this book for Christmas and I have been reading little pieces of it very day and am almost finished. It has spoken to me in ways that I never knew it could. What book am I talking about? I am referring to The New Living Translation Chronological Bible! Yes, we all know that the Bible is the most powerful book ever printed, but if you are like me, you desire to read it and to understand it, but just never make a strong commitment to complete the entire Bible. Sometimes when I read a passage, I couldn’t understand what I just read and got discouraged. Here are reasons why I have succeeded with reading through the Bible this year.
1. The New Living Translation – this translation spoke with words that were easier to understand and helped bring out the message to me.
2. Chronological – the Bible is mapped out in the order of when it happened. This is so powerful when several books of the Bible have the same story and you read it several times over in a row and see how God spoke to the different authors and confirmed the happenings of the time.
3. Short and doable time segments – the daily reading is about 15 minutes so it is easy to fit into your day.
4. Connecting with other people at wendypope.blogspot.com. Wendy is involved with Proverbs 31 Ministries in North Carolina. Here is an excerpt from Wendy about her blog when she started this journey at the beginning of 2009.
“Monday-Friday I will do my best to post something on my blog to start the "conversation." All comments, thoughts, and insights are welcome. You don't have to have a blog to post a comment. You don't have to post a comment at all. No pressure here. Read each day, visit my site, and glean from others.”
Check out her blog and the testimonials regarding her “Read through the Word”. This was what I submitted regarding my journey!!
This journey of reading through the Bible this year has been an incredible experience. The Chronological set up and NLT have brought the Word to life. I believe I would not have made it this far in my reading if I would not have had Wendy’s blog to follow. Her insights and other reader comments have helped me interpret and understand the scriptures with such a deeper meaning than ever before. I am excited about reading the Bible through again next year and taking my relationship with Christ to an even deeper level!!
So I welcome you aboard this journey for 2010!! Put this book on the top of your Christmas wish list. Books are available at Amazon.com for $16.49 and at Christianbook.com for $11.99.
Blessing,
Lisa
1. The New Living Translation – this translation spoke with words that were easier to understand and helped bring out the message to me.
2. Chronological – the Bible is mapped out in the order of when it happened. This is so powerful when several books of the Bible have the same story and you read it several times over in a row and see how God spoke to the different authors and confirmed the happenings of the time.
3. Short and doable time segments – the daily reading is about 15 minutes so it is easy to fit into your day.
4. Connecting with other people at wendypope.blogspot.com. Wendy is involved with Proverbs 31 Ministries in North Carolina. Here is an excerpt from Wendy about her blog when she started this journey at the beginning of 2009.
“Monday-Friday I will do my best to post something on my blog to start the "conversation." All comments, thoughts, and insights are welcome. You don't have to have a blog to post a comment. You don't have to post a comment at all. No pressure here. Read each day, visit my site, and glean from others.”
Check out her blog and the testimonials regarding her “Read through the Word”. This was what I submitted regarding my journey!!
This journey of reading through the Bible this year has been an incredible experience. The Chronological set up and NLT have brought the Word to life. I believe I would not have made it this far in my reading if I would not have had Wendy’s blog to follow. Her insights and other reader comments have helped me interpret and understand the scriptures with such a deeper meaning than ever before. I am excited about reading the Bible through again next year and taking my relationship with Christ to an even deeper level!!
So I welcome you aboard this journey for 2010!! Put this book on the top of your Christmas wish list. Books are available at Amazon.com for $16.49 and at Christianbook.com for $11.99.
Blessing,
Lisa
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