Set Apart

It is easy when you are in a crowd of people to look around and ask the one question “do I fit in?” “do I belong?” As I left my son today at 7th grade football practice for the first time, my stomach is in knots. Bryson is calm, excited and ready for this experience, but me, his mom, I am full of anxiety, nervousness and fear. I pray on my way home for protection and for safety. But as I sit here I ponder about my feelings and that question “do I belong, do I fit in?” What am I trying to have him fit in too? Bryson only wants to play football. He knows that his role on this football team will be a manager, because of his limitations, but what do I want him to experience? It is the question that so many of us deal with and it shows my insecurities so well. We want to be liked, accepted, a part of something. But does God ask us to fit in? I searched at Biblegateway.com for the words “set apart” and I was amazed at how many references that spoke toward being set apart. That is what God wants from us, to stand out for Him. I just finished reading the book Weird by Craig Groschel. The tag line of his book is “because normal isn’t working.” The world has convinced us that we need to fit in and be liked, but that is not God’s way, He calls us to be “set apart” for Him.

So back to Bryson, again what do I really want for my boy? God made Bryson in His image, He created Him for a purpose, God knows and cares about everything in Bryson’s life. So what does God want for my son and the 7th grade football team? I don’t know the answer but in my heart I know what God is asking of me; to trust Him and to make sure that my heart is right in what I want for Bryson. I don’t want my desires to be out of my insecurities, or what the world wants, but out of my love and trust of God. A trust that knows God will make a way for Bryson to fulfill the purposes that he was placed on this earth for, and that I shouldn’t hinder God’s work. Craig in his book Weird also says “I was far more concerned with what the people thought than with what God thought.” I don’t want that to be me. He goes on to say “if you’ve surrendered to normal living rather than the wonderful weirdness of being set apart by God, chances are that people are too big in your life and God is too small. Psalm 34:9 says, “Let the Lord’s people show him reverence, for those who honor him will have all they need.”

Bryson is different; he will stand out on the football field as one who isn’t like the rest of the boys. But my sweet Bryson does not seem to be bothered by that, he embraces the fact that he is there with the rest of the boys. He is living in the moment of just living for who he is, not for what others think of him. I believe that God placed Bryson in my life to teach me such valuable lessons. Am I willing to stand in the middle of something and look different and be at peace because God has placed me to be in that moment at that time for the purposes that He has me to do on this earth? Oh I want that!!!
Galatians 1:10 (NLT)
10 Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.

1 Chronicles 10:13-14 (NLT)

13 So Saul died because he was unfaithful to the LORD. He failed to obey the LORD’s command, and he even consulted a medium 14 instead of asking the LORD for guidance. So the LORD killed him and turned the kingdom over to David son of Jesse.

I need to be faithful to the Lord (live)
I need to obey the Lord’s commands (work)
I need to ask the Lord for guidance (Pray)

Purpose of Instruction

If you read through my blog you will easily be able to tell what my main struggles have been over this past year. God spoke to me through His word this morning, again more of the same stuff. I know that life is a journey and my one desire is to keep growing closer to Him.

1 Timothy 1:5-7
The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and genuine faith. But some people have missed this whole point. They have turned away from these things and spend their time in meaningless discussions. They want to be known as teachers of the law of Moses, but they don’t know what they are talking about, even though they speak so confidently.

I have always been a person that “needs” to figure stuff out, come up with a clear plan, keep things in my control. The last several weeks I have been thrown several curveballs in life and this has increased my desire to figure out God, to figure out what His intentions are for my life, to get it “right” this time. My controlling and perfectionist personality thinks I need to figure it all out so I can move forward.
This morning the words from 1 Timothy truly spoke to my heart. God gives His Word, His instruction for 3 purposes. He wants us to be filled with love so that we can:
1. Have a pure heart
2. A clear conscience
3. A genuine faith.
That is it, nothing more. He really is not complicated. He desires us to be filled with love. The remaining verses are the ones that hurt a bit more when I read them. “and spend their time in meaningless discussions” That is what I do; I talk to others, analysis it all in my brain, looking for the right answer. I share with others what I have learned and what I know to be right. But am I living that way?? That is the conflicting point in my life. I know the truth, but do I believe and do I walk it? God’s way is simple. Live my life so I have a pure heart, pure intentions, and walk in truth. A clear conscience, doing the things He is asking me to do, not going astray by the world’s view. And last have a genuine faith. FAITH, He just wants me to let go, surrender and trust Him. He will take care of the rest; He will lead me in the direction He desires if I only practice these principles.
So a challenge to myself, don't look to friends and books to try and figure out what I need to do. I need to stay rooted in His Word and make sure I am living by these concepts in my decision making. Because when I walk with a pure heart and a clear conscience in all that I do and live my life with COMPLETE FAITH, the doubts and confusion will all fade away and the glory of God will be illuminated in my life and I can truly shine for Him.

My prayer

This prayer is taken from Lysa Terkeurst book "Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl". I have read this over and over again, but today it struck me in a deeper way. I have been struggling with words such as surrender, faith, control, worry, desire. As I read it I realized again how this needs to be my prayer daily as I seek His face.

Just for today I will live this way… just for today, I am making the choice to not settle, Lord. Just for today, I will not let the subtle influences of pride and thinking I know what is best for me over shadow my desire for more of You in my life. Today, I will believe with absolute certainty. Today, I will obey You with complete surrender. Today, I will seek You with complete abandon. For doing this is fulfilling the purpose for which I was created…not to bring myself glory by some great accomplishment, but to bring You glory by making You my greatest heart’s desire. O God, let me make that choice today. Even if it is just for a day – how I long for it to be more, but even if it is just for today, may it be completely so. For one day completely with You is truly, truly better than a thousand elsewhere. In Jesus’ name, Amen!!

I want to hear His voice calling my name, and like Samual did "speak Lord, for your servant is listening." (1 samual 3:10) HERE I AM LORD!!