Today I was able to finally give my 2nd speech at Speechcraft. Two weeks ago I was too emotional to present it and last week was canceled due to the weather, and even though today was emotional, I felt that one way to accept my role as a Special Needs mom was to share this speech that I wrote 3 weeks ago. I did not say this word for word but it works better for me to write it all out and then condense it down to notes. I thought I would share it with you!!
No Child Left Behind
In today’s society, there is extreme value placed on education and learning. Millions of dollars are spend each year and many programs are in place, all with the goal of “NO Child left behind”. Parents drive their children to learn and succeed, parents are encouraged to start College funds for their children with they are yet babies. This is all fine and well, but what I want you to think about today is what happens when your child doesn’t fit the mold of the “normal” student.
When a parent learns of their child’s diagnosis and disabilities, many are completely overwhelmed, their world has been shaken, and dreams have been shattered. They struggle with feelings of anger, guilt, denial and fear of the unknown. For many, their days are involved with doctors, therapists, hospitals, and learning constantly how to care for their child. And before you know it their child is ready for school and a whole new array of decisions surface. Where does my child fit?
As my child Bryson approached this stage, I was exhausted from the extra stress involved with caring for him, and I trusted and believed that the educators knew what was best and I went along with their recommendations for him. But I learned the hard way, the educational system is tailored to the “normal”, to convenience and this might sound harsh, but to the hope that parents shut up and just don’t push the system. Now, my child was not mistreated and he learned during these first years, but he was not treated as an individual and his uniqueness wasn’t addressed as to what his potential might be.
We started Bryson’s education in the contained Functional skills classroom. After several years, school became a frustration, he did not enjoy it. His classroom was more chaos then learning. There were such a large range of disabilities present in the classroom and even though he had an individual plan in place it wasn’t being followed and there wasn’t enough staff to give him the one on one attention he needed. I learned that I had to be my child’s advocate, I had to arm myself with information, I had to learn what the laws say and I had to start fighting for my child.
This decision took my husband Brad and I on a difficult journey as we researched the options that were available for Bryson. The nights of tears when you feel the resistance of an administrator that doesn’t welcome your child into their school because he doesn’t fit that “normal” standard and might hurt their 4 Star school status. This is where I appeal to your heart; it is time to make this already difficult road being traveled by parents of special needs children easier!! The NO Child left behind act of 2001 has helped in some areas but it has also complicated issues too, which I won’t even start here.
After many meetings and sticking to our guns, we agreed to have him repeat 3rd grade and placed him in a normal classroom under the inclusion model. Inclusion is when the child is fully included in all regular classes for the entire school day, generally with an aide or special education teacher providing the help and resources the child needs to function well. The last several years have been full of many trials, difficulties and conflicts and with special education teachers and administrators as we worked at getting the best programs, helps and goals in place. All these tough decisions and rough roads have been worth every minute, my son has blossomed and is a happy and socially balanced child. He has gained confidence by trying to “do” the same things as his fellow classmates, participating in the classroom projects and discussions. Bryson has been blessed with an incredible “Para” helper who truly cares about him. His classmates have accepted him for who he is and not for whom he is NOT.
As we continue to put our high standard on our educational system, I ask that we also consider the families out there who have had to learn to dream new dreams for their child, who are tired from all the pressures that special needs children bring and to open your hearts and minds to a new way of thinking about how we accept these children in our schools and in our communities. I would like to close with a quote that I found early in my information gathering process that freed me to dream a new dream for my child. From the Parents Review, written by E. Downes, MD November, 1897.
If we cannot teach the sciences; we can, at any rate, employee the dim twilight of the slow developing mind in pressing home the value of truth , honesty, and purity; let us tell of the love of God, the salvation of Christ, and the guidance and comfort of the Holy Spirit. Let us do this conscientiously, and await the dawn of the mind sun; when the sun rises, it may be more beautiful, more lovely than we ever could have imagined. Our toil will be a thousand times repaid, not perhaps by the successful result of a competitive examination, but by the useful, loving and healthy life.
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