Unconditional Love

Last Wednesday, I posted this status on my Facebook profile, “today I am tired of Bryson having Diabetes.” It had been another one of those days when his blood sugars were crazy high and then crashing low. I was tired of being responsible, tired of worrying and just downright weary. As I have reflected over my feelings this past week I was reminded of a conversation I had with Bryson in July of this year.

Bryson and I were driving to town and we were discussing his upcoming transition to the insulin pump. I was trying to reassure him that this change would be much better for him because he wouldn’t have to have his four shots of insulin every day. He sat there quietly and then very boldly stated, “I wish I wouldn’t be Diabetes anymore, I wish Duke would take my Diabetes.” (Duke is one of Bryson’s favorite cousins. Because of Bryson’s speech impairment he is unable to pronounce her real name Jennilee accurately, so he nicknamed her Duke.) I sat there for a bit and my eyes welled up with tears, how do I respond to a statement like that? As a mom, how I wished I could take his Diabetes from him. I responded to Bryson by reassuring him that I also wish he didn’t have Diabetes but that God will help him through. As I continued to drive I thought about why he chose Duke as the person he wanted to take his Diabetes, I thought about their relationship. It was an unconditional, close, safe and loving friendship. In his childlike heart he trusted her with his life. To him she would always be there to love on him and care for him.

As I recalled that conversation this week, I had to remind myself of what I told Bryson that day, “God would help him through”. And I was reminded again that this is what our loving Heavenly father wants from me, he wants me to come to Him and say “God, I don’t want diabetes anymore, I want you to take my diabetes from me.” He wants me to have that unconditional, close, safe and loving friendship with Him. He wants me to trust him with my life. He desires for me to talk to Him daily, hourly, every minute, seeking HIM!! HE will be there. He will take that burden from me. He wants me to rest in Him and in the knowledge that HE will carry my diabetes, carry the responsibilities of being a mother or whatever struggle or obstacle I might be facing.

Lord, when I am weary, help me to claim your Word and rest in your presence knowing that you are there and you will provide for me all that I need!

Matthew 11:25-30 (New Living Translation) Jesus’ Prayer of Thanksgiving
25 At that time Jesus prayed this prayer: “O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, thank you for hiding these things from those who think themselves wise and clever, and for revealing them to the childlike. 26 Yes, Father, it pleased you to do it this way! 27 “My Father has entrusted everything to me. No one truly knows the Son except the Father, and no one truly knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.” 28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”